Feburary
25, 2002
Oksana and I are in the process of filling out the necessary forms
to reserve Chapel by the Lake's, uh... chapel... for our wedding
on August 17th 2002. Now, that date's not set in stone yet, but
the mold's been cast. Currently there aren't any reservations
at the church and that was our biggest worry. Once we've got our
deposit paid, we'll figure out where to have the reception! (Suggestions?)
Those of you who are familiar with Juneau probably know all about
Chapel by the Lake's awesome views. Those of you who're coming
to the wedding will be treated to views like this, this, and this.
Honest.
I know you
don't really need this link to Travelocity, but I thought I'd
include it "just in case."
March
4, 2002
The date is set! August 17th, 2002. Chapel by the Lake. Oksana took
a look and decided on reserving the sanctuary over the chapel. The
chapel is closer to our plans (as far as size goes), but it was
too dark. The sanctuary seats 280, I think, so we're pretty confident
that it'll be big enough.
We also checked
out a bridal fair at the mall this weekend (where I realized why
they call them "bridal fairs" and not a "groom's
fairs") Among our notable achievements: we found some brochures
for suits and tuxes and looked over the prices for a photographer.
By the way, did you know that there are about a thousand different
tuxedo looks? Jeez...
Also, Rob
Haskell has accepted my request to be the Best Man. Very cool.
Special thanks
to Liza Lavrushina for sending us a wedding planner. We didn't
even know those things existed!
March
18th, 2002
Lots of new stuff, but nothing much solidified yet:
The Ring
(I love this
picture!)
Our biggest news is about the engagement ring. We've been shopping
around for something in our price range. While we've learned a
great deal about the four C's (clarity, color, carat, cut), we
haven't come that close to actually making a purchase. Costco,
surprisingly, had the best deal - high quality diamonds at prices
FAR lower than any other place in town. Unfortunately, they buy
only a few rings in bulk, so they didn't have a setting that we
really liked. We did ask about a custom order - but they only
do that on stones over a full carat. Out of our price range.
But then
Oksana had an idea. See, years ago her father had given her mother
a diamond ring… but the ring was far too large for her finger.
The ring was passed to Oksana and she'd been keeping it in a safety
deposit box since our trip to Costa Rica a couple months ago.
She convinced me that we should get it appraised even though I
wasn't too keen on the idea - I wanted the ring she would wear
to be "ours."
Well, to
make a long story short, we spent an hour at the jewelry store
getting the diamond appraised. There were downs ("Diamonds
shouldn't have surface abrasions!" and "Real diamonds
rarely flash blue and purple like that") and ups ("Doesn't
look like there are any flaws inside" and "It passed
the 'heat test' two out of three times.") The final verdict?
We have a nearly flawless, .9 - 1-carat diamond on our hands!
Oksana and I were quite amazed when she told us that it would
probably retail 3-4 times higher than the rings that were at the
top end of our price range!
It's quite
a thrill. Our next step (after receiving the written appraisal
in the mail) will be to send the stone off to be removed from
the current setting, cleaned up, personalized by laser inscription,
and set in a new ring. It's really a win-win situation - Oksana
gets a great ring, and we end up saving a lot because we only
need to buy the setting now…
The Maid
of Honor
Liza Lavrushina has agreed to be Oksana's Maid of Honor at the
wedding.
The Flower
Girl
Hailee Berg is going to be our flower girl. And she's very excited
about that, too!
The Reception
We're still
looking into places to hold our reception. At the top of our list
is the Mt. Roberts Tram, but it's also at the top of the cost
list! We're waiting for a call from them to tell us exactly how
much it might cost, but it looks like it'd be at least $1500-2000
(catering and tram ride included.) But what an experience that'd
be for our friends and family who've never been to Juneau!
Flowers
My mom is going to handle the flowers - probably with a little
help from Oksana. They love that sort of thing. (And don't think
I'm not happy about that, either!)
Travel Arrangements
In an e-mail
exchange with my grandparents, it's become apparent that we might
need to do some scouting around Juneau for anyone planning on
visiting. Let us know if you find something on the Internet worth
checking. In the meantime, here's a map with some of the key points
highlighted. Remember that if you rent a car, getting around Juneau
is a snap! The longest drive would be from North Douglas to Auke
Bay - and that should still take only about a ½ hour…
and no traffic! Seriously, plan to stay anywhere. It won't be
a problem
April
4th, 2002
Housing
Do you know yet if you're going to be traveling to Juneau for our
wedding? If so, I might have a good deal for you. A couple days
ago I reserved the Schaible House as a possibility for our visiting
friends and relatives. The Schaible House is owned by the University
and is situated on the picturesque Mendenhall River (which flows
direct from the Mendenhall Glacier) and the huge picture windows
will let you see it all! There are four bedrooms (each sleeping
two) and even a pull-out couch in the living room. The cost to us
(reservations) is $200/night and I've currently got it reserved
for 5 nights. If we can manage to fill it, I can guarantee a sub-$50
/ night price! (Especially since, if we arrange to clean ourselves,
the University will knock of $200!)
Please don't
wait for our official wedding invitations to go out -- that won't
be until June or so. If you're already planning on coming for
our wedding (and if you're reading this, you're almost definitely
invited!) and need a place to stay, reserve these as early as
possible!
Here's a
schedule -- please let me know if I can reserve a room for you.
Room 8/13 8/14 8/15 8/16 8/17
#1 cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled
#2 cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled
#3 cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled
#4 cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled
Couch cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled cancelled
The University's
student housing is also a possibility! Single rooms there are
$45 per night (or $40/each person for a double) and they're really,
really nice, too! I should know... I lived in G-4 for 5 years!
The dorms are basically empty over the summer and they are far
closer to townhouses or apartments than any college dorm you're
likely to have seen before. Full kitchen, bathroom, and living
room included! Let me know if anyone's interested in staying in
the dooms and I'll make you a reservation -- the sooner the better!
There's also a chance that I might be able to swing a "university
related event" discount... But even if I can't, it should
still be cheaper (and closer!) than the hotels in town!
Here's an
updated map with the housing options listed:
The Dress
Oksana has picked out a dress! After spending countless hours
scouring the Internet, my bride-to-be had pretty much decided
on the look you can see in the pictures above. A couple weeks
ago, Jennifer and Leah accompanied her to a bridal show that had
plenty of examples to view. (Side note: Oksana won a door prize
-- a coupon for a night a Pearson's Pond!) Anyway, afterwards
she set up an appointment with the dress reseller to try on a
couple things and see how they looked. She took printouts of the
above pictures but purposefully left them tucked away until the
professional had rendered his opinion. You know what? The first
thing he chose for her to try on was the exact same type of dress.
Let me tell you... my girl knows fashion!
Oksana placed
an order for the dress yesterday. Luckily the manufacturer has
her size in stock and it should arrive in 2 to 3 weeks -- plenty
of time for her to have the train shortened (as she suspects she'll
want.) She's also ordered her shoes... but I don't have a picture
of them yet!
The Bouquet
Like most girls, Oksana knew how certain things would be in her
wedding long before the proposal occurred. The bouquet happens
to be one of the things that just had to be perfect. Oksana will
be going with a simple, tight gathering of white roses (with pink-edged
petals.) My mom will be putting it together.
Visitor's
Entertainment
In order to lure all my friends and relatives up to Alaska for
my wedding, I'm trying to put together some incentives for spending
a week or two in Juneau. To that end, my Spanish professor (and
erstwhile friend), Rick Bellagh, has offered to take groups out
on his sailboat if they like. It's a small boat, about 30', but
plenty big enough to take 4 or 5 people out for a day of sailing,
fishing, sightseeing or whatever. I'll tell you what -- I've gone
out with Rick dozens of times and every single time we get to
see whales! (Always humpbacks, but sometimes killer whales...
and sometimes very, very close!) Trust me... you don't want to
miss this opportunity!
The Ring
Wow. We got the appraisal back for the ring. That rock is... expensive.
Expensive enough that we feel we need to get renter's insurance
for it before we send it off to be put in a new setting. Wow.
April
8th, 2002
Housing Update
While out playing Frisbee Golf last week, I stopped by to take
a few pictures of the Schiable House. The first picture is a photo
of the house itself. The second is of the view from the yard (kinda
overexposed through the trees... but you should be able to see
the river from the second floor deck). Finally, a picture from
the Mendenhall River bridge -- literally about 30 seconds walk
from the front door. Now all you need to do is imagine the trees
with a lot more greenery and the ground with a lot less snow --
'cuz our wedding is in August!
I still want
to get in there and figure out what the rooms are like. Keep checking
back.
Shoes
Oksana received her shoes in the mail a couple days ago. After
removing a few strings wrapping the toe straps together, they
fit just fine! I think she's planning on breaking them in during
her dance class...
Paperwork
Oh, my. It begins. In order to get Oksana's engagement ring insured,
we needed to get renter's insurance. And to get that (and do it
right), Oksana has to give me power of attorney in insurance matters
so that her stuff can be covered under my policy. Once we get
married it won't matter one bit who hadles inquiries and such
into our insurance matters, but right now it's all on me because
I'm the sole policy holder. Oh, and just to add her name to the
policy, we had to switch her car insurance over -- which saved
her a ton of money and didn't do much at all for me. Anyway, to
make a long story short, we'll have over $30k in renter's insurance
soon, and we've begun the tedious process of consolidating our
paperwork. Now, under the floater policy on the engagement ring,
it will be covered against everything except "intentional
damage, explosions, and nuclear damage." So, no exploding,
radioactive (or exploding radioactive!) wedding gifts, please!
April
17, 2002
Engagement
Pictures
Not too long ago, Oksana and I received a package in the mail
-- from Austria! Seems our friends from Costa Rica got their film
developed and sent us some photos our "engagement reenactment."
Here are a few of the pictures that we liked enough to show you
(i.e., the one where we don't look fat!)
Entertainment
I talked to my old college roomate and friend, Michael Heiman,
last week. First, congrats to him and Leah who are also getting
married this summer! And knowing exactly how planning a wedding
goes, Mike is eager to help out in ours if possible. You see,
Mike's nearing the end of his first year as a high school teacher
and he's getting ready to have his first summer off. Chances are
that he just might go back and work (part-time, at least) at his
old summer job, that of a river rafting guide here in Juneau.
As another encentive to get my friends and relatives to come up
for our wedding, Mike has offered to take a group on a rafting
day trip -- for free! If you're interested, check out these website
for some tourist-related information on rafting down the Mendenhall
River (and check out those prices you won't have to pay, too!)
Alaska Travel
Adventures
GoldBelt Tourism
By the way,
that picture above was taken when Mike offered to take Melissa,
Russ, Rob, and I along one day when he was still working for Alaska
Travel Adventures
April
29, 2002
Been awhile
since the last update. Lots of new stuff to report! Before that,
though, let me show off a picture taken with my new digital camera...
Now, wouldn't you love to visit Alaska (for my wedding)?
Pre-Marriage
Counseling Class
Last Saturday, Oksana and I attended our pre-marriage counseling
class at Chapel by the Lake. It could have been brutal - especially
considering that it started at 8:30am! In actuality, it wasn't
that bad, really.
See, we were a little bit worried. We'd selected Chapel by the
Lake not because of our religion (or lack thereof), but rather
for its scenic views. We expected that during the class we'd have
to listen to a lot of theological lecturing on the church's views
of marriage in the eyes of God. Remember, Oksana grew up in Russia
- her views on religion have been influenced by the fact that
ALL religions were illegal until she was 11!
All in all,
I thought the class was pretty good. After introductions, Steve
Olmstead, the minister of Chapel by the Lake started us ("us"
being six couples - three of which had familiar faces!) off with
a prayer before having us read 4 or 5 passages from the bible
on marriage. After that he took a backseat to the Coast Guard's
local chaplain who introduced us to the University of Denver's
program on effective communication in marriage.
Around lunchtime,
we took a break from his presentation (which included overheads,
video clips, lecture, and practice sessions) to start on a 165-question
"PREPARE" exam. This was one of those old bubble-exams
that reminded me of being back in my high school SATs! Anyway,
they'll send off our results and test our "compatibility,"
and when they get them back they won't even share the results
with us! Boo, hiss! Oh, well. They say they'll use the results
to focus our remaining counseling session on what they believe
will be our trouble spots. (Knowing how I save money - or don't,
actually - my guess is on our finances!)
After lunch,
the "effective communications" seminar continued. We
wrapped that up around 3pm with a lecture from another minister-in-training
(I think) from the Chapel. She also announced that it would be
herself performing some of the marriages this summer, some would
be performed by Steve.
The last
45 minutes or so became another lecture from Steve about his beliefs
(as a minister and as a husband) on the ways to avoid having an
affair. Obviously no one in a pre-marriage class would be thinking
about having an affair, nevertheless, he made some really good
points - it can be very easy to drift apart if you don't make
every effort not to.
On the way
home, Oksana and I shared our impressions of the day. I believe
we both agreed on what we thought were the important points taken
from the day:
1) We wouldn't
mind having Steve Olmstead marry us. He introduced himself to
us and invited us to come to Sunday mass. We both agreed that
we did not want the other woman to marry us, though (unfortunately
they didn't tell us who'd be marrying whom!) Oksana faulted her
on her inexperience. To be honest, I just got bad vibes…
Call it a personality conflict - there's nothing wrong with her,
but she simply rubs me wrong… Actually, we're both toying
with the idea of having the Coast Guard chaplain marry us - we
both warmed up to him instantly (without even "meeting"
him the whole day!)
2) We were
both relieved that the class didn't turn into 8 hours of "These
are our beliefs at Chapel by the Lake and we're forcing them on
you if you want to get married here." In retrospect, it's
pretty obvious that they wouldn't do that… but we were a
little worried anyway.
3) The "effective
listening techniques," although they felt silly at first,
really do have some merit. I don't know if we'll ever fall into
the routine of passing "the floor" back-and-forth while
saying things like: "What I hear you saying is…"
but it's good to know that this stuff works if we ever have one
of those deep-rooted arguments. (We're both continually amazed
that we've gone so long without one!)
Anyway, once
we got home, Oksana and I didn't wait long for naptime! We hadn't
had enough sleep the night before and we were really lagging after
spending all day in a chair!
The Wedding Dress
Last week, Oksana received her wedding dress. Regrettably, we
can't say this is a happy occasion, because Oksana has reported
that it doesn't fit! She gave her exact measurements and the company
from which she ordered the dress decided what size to order. Turns
out, that's the wrong size. Oksana went so far as to measure the
inside of the dress and found that it's a couple inches too big
in the chest. She tried calling both the retailer and the manufacturer
and was hung-up on both times after the discussion started to
get a little heated. Needless to say, Oksana was quite distraught
for a day or two.
Luckily,
Jennifer Berg recommended that Oksana contact a local seamstress
who apparently does great work. She was hesitant about having
the dress altered at first, but after talking with some other
people who have had their dresses worked on by her, she's now
happy again! About all we need to do now is set up an appointment
to have the dress fixed up…
The Ring
Take a closer look at the pictures of the ring above. Do you understand
now why we opted to have a custom setting made? I like to call
this setting "The Claw!"
Our insurance
policy has finally been figured out! Boy, what a pain that was.
At least now we have $25k of insurance on our "normal"
stuff and, more importantly, a floater policy on Oksana's engagement
ring. Oh, not to mention the fact that we had to switch Oksana's
auto insurance over to USAA - which saved her a bundle and saved
me, oh, less than $1. Oh, and because we're not yet married, Oksana
had to sign over her power of attorney (in insurance matters)
to me before they'd insure her stuff. As I said: What a pain!
The good
news? We finally started the process of getting the engagement
ring made. First, we had to take the old ring in so that they
could extract the stone and mail it off to the Gemological Institute
in Washington. They're going to clean it up, laser-inscribe it,
and do a sort of appraisal on it. Then, when we get it back in
a few weeks, we'll have it attached to a custom setting.
Why are we
inscribing the diamond? Basically just to personalize it and make
it "ours." Oksana didn't have a recommendation (other
than a serial number) about how to inscribe it, but it wasn't
hard to convince her to go with "Kadachigova." I think
that's quite appropriate since the diamond came from her parents.
Also, she's going to be taking my name after we're married and
I just think she'd enjoy knowing that her maiden name is on her
engagement ring.
Oksana spent
a lot of time scouring the Internet, looking for the perfect ring/setting.
She has settled on a thin, flat ring with two metals intertwined
around the entire perimeter - white and yellow gold. The actual
setting will be made of platinum (with six prongs) for the extra
strength. We also complicated matters by wanting Oksana's wedding
band to attach to the engagement ring and match it well…
The jeweler (Ginger, at Dockside Jewelers, by the way) took copious
notes and is going to start in on some drawings and variations
for us to look over. Once we approve a design, she'll send off
for a wax copy to made. If we like that, they'll finally cast
the ring and setting. Finally, they'll drop in the stone. Looks
like it's still going to be a couple months before I get to slip
a ring on my bride-to-be's finger!
Wedding Video
A friend of mine, Jeff Jemison, has offered to videotape our wedding
for us as his wedding gift. I consider this a GREAT gift and I'm
looking forward to having him help out. Jeff also had some great
ideas about cheaply hiring a photographer for the wedding, as
well. Want to learn a little bit about Jeff? You can see some
of his stuff here and here.
The Reception
Oksana is going up the tram today (for free!) to talk to them
about reservations (and costs) for our reception. She'll be taking
my new digital camera and hopefully she'll get some beautiful
shots of downtown Juneau - Stay tuned!
April
30, 2002
Bridesmaids
Oops! I forgot to post information yesterday about the fact that
Oksana has already selected her bridesmaid's dresses. The pictures
above are from Nordstrom's and the color scheme is "Lilac."
(They don't have a full-length photo of that particular color,
though.)
May
21, 2002
Has it really
been three weeks since I posted an update on here? Holy cow! I
had no idea... Really, I've been quite busy -- unfortunately it
hasn't been with work on wedding stuff.
Take this weekend for instance: I labored from 7am on Saturday
to 11am on Sunday shooting and editing a video for UAS and the
local Rotary club. It was a "big thing" and, fortunately,
worked out pretty well. But it sure didn't leave me any time to
work on our wedding invitations! Our local ultimate summer league
has also started up recently and takes time away from other things...
All this goes to reinforcing my belief that my creativity is directly
proportional to my available free time. It makes me wonder if
the great artists of the world only do cool things because they're
really bored...
Anyhoo, I
offer the above only as an excuse. Maybe this stuff would work
better on a daily journal page somewhere on my site. But would
anybody actually read it? (Would I want them to?)
So. The wedding.
Three weeks ago we were rolling right along. Since then, we haven't
done too much and we're starting to feel overwhelmed! Oksana printed
out a to-do list. It's daunting. Lots of things to plan, reserve,
and do. Lots (and LOTS) of money to spend. Oksana also went to
her friend; Sandra's, wedding this weekend and looked upon it
with a critical eye. Rather than give her confidence, I think
it made her realize how much MORE work we have to do! If you can
help us add anything we've forgotten to the list, please e-mail
us!
What have
we actually done recently? Not a heck of a lot...
The Reception
Oksana liked the tram experience. I think we've decided to go
ahead and reserve the (expensive) tram for our reception. At $18-$22
per person, we'll at least get tram tickets and dinner included.
More details after we actually MAKE the reservations.
Invitations
Oksana has picked out the invitations, I believe, but we have
yet to order them. They'll be blank -- we'll compose our own and
print them out ourselves (providing I have time to be creative,
that is!)
Wedding Night
Lodgings
You may remember that Oksana won a $150 gift certificate from
Pearson's Pond a while back. We finally got around to making our
reservations -- and found out that it will STILL cost us $290
for ONE NIGHT'S STAY! ($360/night = summer rates, +$50 for a wedding
package -- flowers, champagne, fruit bowl, etc., + hotel tax.)
Wow.
The Ring
We stopped by Dockside Jewelers this weekend to see if our diamond
had been sent back yet (from the engraving process.) Nope. Looks
like we'll have to wait a bit longer... Our friends Mike and Leah
are also getting married this summer. They showed us a website
for titanium wedding bands and we're considering going that route
as well.
June
4th, 2002
Yesterday
I was all ready to post a new update on our wedding page to tell
you all the news about the reception, INS, the invitations, and
our wedding planner. And then this happened.
June
10th, 2002
We're back
on track!
The Reception
Tram Car
Going up
Tourist season
Other car
Up at the
top
Reception area
Bar
Deck - pray for sun!
North view
Juneau and Auke Bay
South view
(Less snow in August)
Whew! We
did it! On Thursday the 31st, Oksana and I took our lunch break
up on top of Mt. Roberts. We met with Tracy and officially reserved
the restaurant at the top for our reception. Lots more planning
involved in that, but it sure feels good to know it's a "lock."
What did
we get? Well… For an unspecified amount (unspecified for
you… we know exactly how much we're paying!) we'll have
a buffet dinner of steak or salmon with other stuff like salad,
potatoes, rolls, veggies, etc. Included in the price is the tram
ride up the mountain (normally about $20 per tourist!) We'll also
have a hosted tab at the bar. We haven't decided just how much
to put up ourselves, but once it's been used up, y'all are on
your own. So, if you're planning to get blasted at our wedding,
you better bring some cash! We'll also have a few bottles of campaign
and sparkling apple cider for the toast.
Let's see,
what other reception details don't you really need to know? Our
schedule looks like:
Soon: Sign an official agreement that we're going to reserve the
tram.
3 weeks before wedding: Give final wedding list
3 days before wedding: Finalize and pay bill
Day before wedding: Deliver decorations
Day of wedding: Deliver cake, 3pm restaurant closes and decorating
starts
We think
we're going to bump our ceremony back to 3pm (instead of 4pm)
so that we aren't rushed at the reception. The tram closes for
the evening at 9:30pm and they'll charge us $200 an hour if we
go past that limit.
The Wedding
Planner
Overwhelmed by all this work we need to do to pull off this wedding,
Oksana and I formulated a plan: We'd find someone to help us with
it! A couple weeks ago, while out partying the night away, Oksana
asked a friend, Lola, if she might like to help us out. Lola enthusiastically
agreed - and a few days later remembered that should would most
likely be out of town on the 17th. After meeting with her and
showing her our web page, she decided right then that she just
had to change her airline tickets! Thanks, Lola! Expect to see
the smiling person pictured above keeping things smooth and organized
at the reception!
Invitations
We got our invitations in the mail yesterday. Whoa, there's a
lot of 'em! I sure hope we didn't make a mistake when we chose
to print them ourselves…
That's what
I wrote, but didn't have time to post, before the fire.
I keep telling
myself that we're saving money by printing our own invitations.
I keep telling myself that our invitations will be better because
they'll be personalized. I keep telling myself whatever it takes
to keep me from destroying my printer as I struggle to print hundreds
of copies on various sizes of paper (some of which are technically
too small!)
This weekend
was not fun. The fire has been very stressful. Work has been no
refuge what with our department merging with Computing Services
(and my responsibilities increasing). Saturday was sunny and warm
and I spent it inside struggling for hours with my printer to
get results like the picture above. Eventually, because of the
calming powers of Oksana, I was able to figure out how to line
everything up just right. Sunday was spent printing out some 200
reply cards and envelopes - at times individually. Boy will I
be glad to slap some stamps on these babies and put this wedding
planning milestone behind us!
Oh, and I
ordered the "surprise" that we're planning on including
with the invitations, too.
INS
Oksana heard through the local Russian grapevine that many of
the Immigration and Naturalization Service papers that we'd have
to fill out for the marriage may only be picked up at the Ketchikan
office. We asked my mom to check into that - and found out that
we were luckily mistaken. There's an office near the airport in
Juneau that we can pick up the "packet." When Oksana
called to find out about it, the person on the phone made it very
clear that I'm the one that's supposed to pick up and fill out
the paperwork. Fun.
We stopped
by last week and only customs officials were there. They were
nice, but not too helpful when it came to finding the exact immigration
forms in those giant file cabinets. We called down to the Ketchikan
office and tried to get the correct info, but when we left with
a couple of daunting, triplicate packets (with hefty submission
price tags attached) we still weren't sure we had it all correct.
Oksana spent
the next day on the INS website and printed out a giant stack
of forms and instructions. The only good news is that she thinks
that we might not need to fill any of this stuff out until after
the wedding. I can't imagine what paperwork nightmares await us
in the future (when she applies for a permanent greencard, full
citizenship, etc.) Imagine -- we might someday do all this again
for me in Russia!
The Ring
Two days ago we stopped by Dockside Jewelers to see our newly
engraved stone. I must admit, it was quite cool to see "Kadachigova"
etched into the edge between facets when she put it under the
microscope! At any rate, we now have a "real" appraisal
from the Gemological Institute and Oksana spent almost two hours
ironing out the details of her custom setting and the wedding
bands. I don't think I'm going to get off quite as cheap as I
thought, but I must say that her ring is going to look awfully
nice!
The next
step is that Ginger will create a 3D image of the custom setting
in a CAD-like program (wish I'd thought of that a couple months
ago - we could have done that ourselves!) If Oksana approves the
pictures, they send the data file down south so that they can
carve out a purple wax ring for her to try on. If that looks good,
it should only take another week or so for them to cast the metals
and set the stone!
Bridesmaids
We've received word that three of the four bridesmaids already
have their dresses. I guess I should start thinking about the
tuxes that the groomsmen need to rent…
June
25th, 2002
Invitations
I got a report that the "Online" link on the CD-ROM
is broken. I can't honestly can't figure out how that happened
-- I'm certain that I tested it every which way! I hate being
an imperfect perfectionist! The internal conflict that sets up
is very stressful. Anyway, if you're looking for the real "Online"
Wedding page, it's at http://www.arlomidgett.com/wedding. That's
"midgett" with two "t's," by the way. You'd
think I'd be able to spell my own name...
June
24th, 2002
Invitations
We just shipped out 90 invitations (with a handful more to send
as we receive addresses) which cost us a staggering (to me, anyway)
$443.67! If you were to ask me right now if it was worth it to
create our own invitations, I'd say "heck no!" But ask
me again in a couple weeks -- I hope they'll get favorable reviews.
if people don't like them, I think I'm going to curl up into a
spikey little ball like our new pet hedgehog...
Lots more
to update you on, but not tonight. To celebrate our progress,
we're actually going to go to sleep early for once!
June
26th, 2002
Invitations
That broken link on all the CDs? I fixed it. I'll leave the "how"
as a mental exercise for all you geeks out there... ;)
There's going
to be a real update coming soon. Swear.
July
8th, 2002
Invitations
Most of you should have received your invitations by now. We sent
out the first batch of 90 and then followed up a week later with
about 15-20 more. If you haven't seen them yet, check your mail!
How do you think they turned out?
I'm not sure I would ever recommend that anyone undertake a wedding
project quite like that one. Don't get me wrong, I'm rather proud
of what we've accomplished with that mass of folded paper and
envelopes… but it took so much time! When you're already
stressing about the million-and-one things you need to do for
a wedding, spending so much time on just one thing can be very
stressful. Ask Oksana. She saw my frustration overwhelm me more
than once.
But then...
I think about the personal touch that we were able to put into
each invitation and I begin to think it may have been worthwhile.
Ten or so years ago, my uncle Ed created his own invitations for
his wedding, too. Was that an influence on my decision? Oh, you
betcha! Did I ever think about how much work it probably took
to do that? No, of course not. I suppose it'll all be worthwhile
if, ten years from now, someone remembers our wedding invitations.
Plus, in 2012, I'll have likely forgotten the fact that I let
a broken link slip into the project!
The Ceremony
Preparations
We called up the Chapel by the Lake and found out that our contact
information had gone missing (in an office move) and that they
had been waiting for us to call. We scheduled a meeting (last
Sunday afternoon) and found out that our worries about the minister
who would marry us had been realized.
We decided
to go to the meeting and discuss the fact that we were going to
ask someone else to marry us. Talk about walking on eggshells!
We certainly didn't want to offend Tracee, but we also wanted
someone with whom we felt more comfortable to do our you-only-get-married-once-so-make-it-perfect
ceremony. Unfortunately, we didn't yet have an alternative in
place because we hadn't asked the Coast Guard chaplain if he would
be willing to marry us instead.
At any rate,
the meeting went fairly well. First, we went over the ceremony
and discussed the schedule of events. Tracee made it clear that
many of the events would be up to us, but that some of them are
mandatory; the sermon, the prayer, etc. Not surprising…
It is going to be a church wedding after all. She also gave us
some examples of traditional vows to go over. After working so
hard to be creative on the invitations, I'm not sure I have it
in me to write my own vows. Perhaps if Oksana were to recite her
vows in Russian…?
We also went
over the things we'll have to pay for. Babysitter? Probably a
good idea. But what are the "Chapeladies?" Oh, they
set up the coffee and stuff! Cool. There were a few other things
as well, all totaling up to around $500.
After the
discussion of the ceremony we moved on to talk about our pre-marriage
counseling test results. It seems that we scored quite well on
our ability to communicate and our role definitions. As expected,
we were less sure about what our financial situation would be
after we were married. We also found out that we have similar
views about our relationships with our respective families - comfortable,
even if we don't have constant contact with them.
A little
bit about how the test scores work might be in order here. You
see, it's not really a compatibility test or anything. Instead
they ask you questions in certain categories and see if the couple
is in agreement, disagreement, or has uncertainties. Without them
actually showing us the scores, I got the feeling that we were
quite often in agreement, never really in disagreement, and only
sometimes uncertain. I guess that makes sense for a couple with
good communication!
Take, for
instance, this one question that Tracee thought might be worrisome.
The question was "Do you expect that your partner might make
important decisions without consulting you?" I said "no,"
(of course!), but Oksana said "yes." When this was brought
up, Oksana explained that she was reading more into the question:
"Yes, I would expect my partner to make important decisions
without me, because he knows that I trust him enough to do so."
I was flattered.
So we batted
around the implications of our test results with Tracee. I think
Oksana and I came to the conclusion that our communication was
so good because of the slight language barrier that we have to
hurdle. Although she's completely fluent in English, sometimes
the right word will elude her. In those cases we do what we can
to make sure I know exactly what she's talking about. Also, when
she doesn't understand what I'm saying (because I use big, high-falutin'
words, ya know) I need to rephrase for her. We got so good at
developing these skills that they carry over into every conversation.
Anyway, we
never did find a way to tell Tracee that we were looking for her
replacement, but we did tell her that we'd discuss our test results
at home and decide on our vows before scheduling our next meeting.
That gives us a chance to go out and find that Coast Guard chaplain…
…which
we did! Lola invited us to her 4th of July party and who happened
to arrive late in the evening? David Tubley, the CG chaplain!
We were actually pretty surprised to see him there and Oksana
took the initiative and made sure we made our way over to sit
next to him. After a few pleasantries, Oksana hit him with a big,
blunt question. "Will you marry us?"
We explained
our reasons and he seemed quite amenable to the whole situation.
In fact, he's already subbed in for Tracee once this summer. But
we still don't have any answer yet because he didn't have his
schedule with him (and he was just about to depart to Denali with
his son the next day.) We're waiting for word when he gets back.
Hopefully he'll be free on the 17th!
The Dress
Last week Oksana gave a call to the seamstress that Jennifer recommended.
She took the dress to her and went through a fitting session.
It was cool, because Oksana went ahead and told her what she thought…
and it turns out that she was in complete agreement! The seamstress
also asked Oksana how much she paid for the dress - because in
her opinion it seemed far more expensive. Sounds like we got lucky
when she picked this particular dress manufacturer… The
seamstress has some other work to do, but she did pin up the dress
in all the right places and will get the work done in plenty of
time before the wedding.
July
9th, 2002
The Ring(s)
Oksana and
I just placed an order for our wedding bands! After talking with
Ginger at Dockside Jewelers and seeing Mike and Leah's rings,
we also decided to get titanium wedding bands. We were down to
the wire, though, with only five weeks to go before the wedding.
Would the website from which we ordered them be able to get them
created in time?
After placing the order and exchanging (rapid!) e-mails with the
people at Absolute Titanium, our fears were put to rest. As Mike
and Leah told us, they are very helpful and very responsive. They
also assured us that we'll have the rings delivered in plenty
of time for the ceremony.
Take a look
at the first picture above - that's what our wedding bands will
look like.
Now, take
a look at the second picture. That's a rough CAD creation of the
setting that Oksana designed for her engagement ring. Actually,
it's not exactly what she wanted - she would rather have the gold
and platinum ring bands join together underneath the setting.
She's already told them to make the changes, but it's been awhile
since we've heard back from Dockside. At this point we still have
to approve the final CAD creations before they can send them off
for the creation of a wax ring. That will then be sent to us and
she can try it on. If she likes it, they'll cast the real ring
and then Ginger will set the stone at Dockside. It's going to
be a great ring when it's finally done, but we've kind of given
up hope that she'll have it much before the wedding.
The (Russian)
Invitations
In order for Oksana's relatives to have a good chance of getting
a tourist visa for the United States, I needed to send them an
official letter of invitation. Actually, I had to write it to
the U.S. Embassy in Vladivostok. Time's running short, though,
so we really needed to get these letters into her parent's hands.
Before writing
the letters, Oksana had me talk with Janna who's been involved
in the whole process many times. She told me what points I needed
to address in the letter as well as the fact that their odds of
getting a visa would be improved if we could get the letters notarized.
We ended
up at Oksana's bank and after I swore that the statements in the
letter were true, an employee stamped, dated, and photocopied
the letters for us. After that, we went to the Fed Ex office,
figuring that would be our best option for getting the letters
to Russia as fast as possible. Ha! Wrong. The best Fed Ex could
do would guarantee the package's arrival in two weeks -- for the
trivial cost of $91 U.S. dollars! It was funny, actually. After
the woman incredulously received confirmation from Fed Ex's international
desk about the insane cost, she told us that she wouldn't even
LET us pay her for the service. Try the post office!
In this case,
the USPS really came though for us. For $23, we were able to guarantee
3-5 day delivery all the way to Petropavlovsk-Kamchatski. Not
bad, all things considered. But, just to be safe, we faxed the
copies of the letters to Oksana's brother. Well, we tried, anyway.
After spending half and hour at the University trying to get the
faxes to connect, the fax machine finally accepted out pages.
But when we got home and Oksana called her brother, he said that
only a single line of text came though. Fine. I just scanned the
dang thing and e-mailed it to her nephew! Problem solved.
Hey, neat.
Microsoft Word actually has "Petropavlovsk-Kamchatski"
in its spell-checker!
Invitations
Well, we got burned by the whole Post Office stamp change thing.
A handful of our invitations destined for Juneau addresses were
returned because we were 3 cents short. It's funny, though, because
we sent out 16 invitations on July 5th, and all of them without
local addresses made it just fine. I guess they really need the
extra 3 cents to pay our local post office employees! At any rate,
it was one of the easier wedding details to correct. 21 cents
later and they were on their way again.
July
11th, 2002
The Cake
Oh, the cake is all Oksana's. That's just one of those things
that she knew exactly what she wanted and I knew exactly nothing
about. A couple weeks ago, Oksana left the house with a printout
culled from an Internet website, bound for a meeting with a cake
decorator. She returned about an hour later and suddenly everything
is all set up!
Did you know
that a wedding cake's price tag is based on the number of people
that will eat it? $1.85 per person, eh? Well, it'll sure be a
cheap cake if we find out that we don't have many friends!
Oksana was
also sure to mention that our reception is at the top of Mt. Roberts
and that the cake will need to be delivered to the tram. It was
then that we realized that this was the same cake decorator that
Tracy, our Mt. Roberts contact, told us would not deliver to them.
It turns out that she has had some difficulty in the past taking
a cake up there when the tram was packed full of tourists…
But the apparent business conflict is really just a misunderstanding.
She said she'd be happy to accompany the cake all the way to the
top.
We haven't
yet paid for our frosted masterpiece. We'll wait until the wedding
draws near so that we will have a better idea of the number of
people attending.
By the way,
that second picture above is what the final product should look
like. (But without the bottom layer that's been scratched off
with a ball-point pen!)
July
16th, 2002
The (Russian)
Invitations
Oksana's parents have by now received the "official"
invitations (the e-mailed ones, at least.) In a phone conversation
last week, Oksana learned that they have already booked their
tickets for Vladivostok. They should have arrived yesterday and
hopefully we'll know later tonight or not the U.S. Embassy will
grant them tourist visas.
I'm actually
a little worried about her nephew, Andrey. At the very last minute,
he decided that he wanted to attend our wedding, too. We were
of the understanding that he had to be starting college soon and
wouldn't have the time available to come to the U.S. Now, it's
not a problem on our end, but I don't know how the U.S. Embassy
will look upon his last minute decision. We managed to e-mail
them an invitation letter, but it's signed and dated two weeks
later than the others we sent. We also didn't have a chance to
notarize his, either. Will that make a difference? I hope not!
Anyway, if
they do get visas, they'll likely get their tickets to Juneau
shortly thereafter. The plan is to have them stay for about three
weeks. This may impact our honeymoon travel times, though, because
if they decide to stay a bit after the wedding, Oksana would want
to be here to make sure they don't have any problems (they don't
speak English.)
Oksana also
wants to meet them as they get through customs in Anchorage. Chalk
that up as another unforeseen wedding expense…
Anna's Wedding
On July 7th, Oksana was in Vancouver, British Columbia, for Anna
& Dima's wedding. For those who don't know her, Anna is a
college friend of Oksana's who's going to be a bridesmaid in our
wedding.
While in
the "big city," Oksana had a chance to visit some wedding
shops with Anna and some of their other girlfriends. She was able
to practically steal a veil for $20 U.S., and she came across
some nice decorations, as well. For under $60, she came home with
a silk flower wreath, 3 spools of ribbons in our wedding colors,
silk flowers for our cake decorations, a garter, and (of course)
the veil itself. She's such a thrifty shopper!
Thanks to
Uliya for haggling the proprietor down so far on the veil (I understand
he felt guilty for not getting Anna's previous orders correct.)
The Ceremony
Some of the best news we've heard in a long time - David Tubley
let us know that he will be able to marry us! We learned this
from Oksana's trusty answering machine. She heard it first and
saved the message so that I could hear it, too. Wow. I was surprised
realize how much tension I had been holding on to while waiting
for his decision.
Afterwards,
Oksana was kind enough to make the call to Tracee to break the
news to her. I listened from the other room and she did a wonderful
job of letting her down easy. For all her talk about how she can
be so blunt, Oksana is really just a big sweetheart!
Yesterday
David got back to me and we scheduled a meeting for Wednesday
at 5:30pm. I'm sure that we'll cover much of the same ground that
we did with Tracee, but that's okay. I was also impressed that
he told us to bring any INS information that we might have as
well. He's really on the ball!
One thing
we should do before that meeting is to try to get in touch with
one of the Chapel's wedding organizers. David, being the Coast
Guard chaplain, hasn't had much experience performing ceremonies
at this particular church…
The Wedding
Dress
Oksana ran into Linda, her seamstress, while at the mall this
weekend. She told her that she plans to work on her dress this
week. Oksana's excited!
The Wedding
Tuxedo
...Which reminds me: I really need to get on the ball if I'm going
to have a tux for the wedding! Joe Nell (did I mention that I
asked him to be a groomsman? Maybe not...) and I need to get our
measurements taken and we need to see if the rental place will
have to order the tuxes or not. Also, my best man, Rob, is going
to e-mail me his measurements, too, so that I can pass them along.
Oksana wants to go me to the rental place. She get's final veto
power on the tuxedos -- no top hats or penguin tails for me!
The Wedding
CD-ROM
Have you been reading this page and wondered about the CD-ROM
that I've been referring to? Well, I finally posted a copy of
the video clip on the Wedding Video Page. It's huge, though. Don't
say I didn't warn you.
July
22nd, 2002
The Bouquet
Oksana got her pictures back from Anna & Dima's wedding in
Vancouver. Take a look at the bouquet that Anna's holding - Oksana
made that! She considered it practice for the work she's going
to do for herself at our wedding. Although Anna's bouquet got
many positive comments, I believe Oksana's will have a smaller
"handle" and the rose petals should be white with pink
edges. This depends, in part, on Safeway. Oksana placed an order
for some flowers with them for the Wednesday before the wedding,
but they won't guarentee what they'll be getting in. Instead,
they'll call Oksana up when the shipment arrives and let her get
first crack at whatever she wants.
Oksana's
family
Oksana's parents, along with her brother, niece and nephew, flew
to Vladivostok last week. On Wednesday morning, our invitations
in hand, they got in line outside the U.S. Embassy and waited
for their interviews.
Each person
was interviewed separately and, despite not having been able to
read our invitations, despite the fact that over 60% of the applicants
were denied, each of her family members seeking visas were approved!
Want to see what a perfect "official letter of invitation"
looks like?
A couple
days later was the first time I saw Oksana start to panic about
the wedding. Suddenly she was put in the position of having to
organize and plan a ton of things for her family's arrival just
two, short weeks from now. She confided in me later that she truly
did not expect that anyone would get visas - and even if they
had, she thought it would only be her parents that would be approved.
Now we are
frantically scrambling to find a furnished apartment or a 3-week
house-sitting gig from August 2nd to August 20th. It's time to
put this web page to the test. Can anyone that's reading this
in Juneau help us out?!
July
23rd, 2002
Gift Registry
This is important: Oksana and I have finally reached a decision
regarding our gift registry. Please take a moment to surf over
to our Gift Registry Page.
All the Little
Things
Oksana spent HOURS this weekend searching around online for a
place to buy some of the little things we need for our wedding.
An etched cake knife and server. Silk rose petals. Champagne flutes
for toasting. A guest book. You know, all the stuff that women
have information genitically encoded from birth and for which
men don't have a clue... Anyway, she couldn't manage to find a
place that had everything we needed, so she attempted to buy from
two different sites.
Attempted.
See, one site let her enter in all the shipping and credit card
information before telling her that they don't ship to Alaska.
The other wanted $29 dollars for shipping and handling charges
- the total cost of the merchandise was only $32.
The Internet
has made the options for shopping in places like Alaska much more
attractive over the past few years, but it still drives me crazy
when they don't list the United States Postal Service as a shipping
option. We're one of the 50 states, dammit!
The Photographer
Oksana and I invited Scott Foster, the University's Public Information
Officer to our wedding. Scott was gracious enough to consider
taking photos for us (but he wouldn't let me pay him!) I'm not
terribly interested in hiring a professional photographer to take
our wedding pictures - they charge hundreds of dollars up front
and then keep the negatives and charge for prints. I would much
rather get someone whom I know takes great pictures and give them
a huge supply film that I'll get at the end of the night. I have
plenty of faith in Scott's eye, and he has no idea how much I
appreciate the fact that he's willing to do this for us.
Many of the
pictures you see on the University of Alaska Southeast's website
can be attributed to him.
The Groomsmen
I've asked Noah to be one of my groomsmen, and he has accepted.
I asked Noah if he would be there to stand next to me in a monkey
suit and then I received confirmation that my brother, Kegan,
would be able to attend. Originally I had heard that Kegan couldn't
make it, but a couple days later, I' heard that he had wrangled
a free, round-trip ticket to Seattle. If he can make it to Juneau,
that will bring the total number of groomsmen up to four - which
might be a problem!
Oksana has
asked four bridesmaids to be in the ceremony with her: Liza, Anna,
Anya, and Sandra. Unfortunately, it looks like Anna (from Vancouver)
isn't going to be able to get a travel visa in time. If she can't
attend, that means Oksana has only 3 bridesmaids, while I still
have 4 groomsmen…
I was worried
that this might happen, but it's time to reserve the tuxedos --
Joe and I are going to get measured tonight. Just in case they
need to be shipped from out of town (or something), we groomsmen
need to be getting measured now or we'll end up wearing tuxedo
T-shirts, instead!
I don't regret
asking Noah to be my groomsman, though. I just hope there's a
way that everyone will be included.
July
29th, 2002
Housing Oksana's
Family
Oksana's family is set to arrive next week and we found a place
for them to stay. I talked to Tish at the University about putting
them up in student housing and she thought that was a good idea.
$50/night for 3 weeks, that's about $1000. Expensive, but doable.
I needed
to call one of the housing "community advisors" to find
out about availability, though. Once I finally got her on the
phone, she had both good and bad news. The good news was that
we could get a fully furnished, 4-bedroom dorm for Oksana's family.
The bad news? They didn't have anything from August 2nd to August
7th - guess when they arrive?
We went ahead
and booked them a stay from the 7th to the 21st and asked to be
put on a waiting list in case someone cancelled for the weekend
of the 2nd. When they took my credit card number to hold the reservation,
I was told that the price would be $75 per night! What? Oh, $50/night
is the "extended stay" price. Well, I told them that
Tish told me $50 and the CA said "Oh, well, I guess if Tish
said it was okay…" Also, since Oksana's has 5 family
members showing up, they wanted to put one of them in another
dorm. I had to explain why that wouldn't be a good idea - they
don't speak English and we should try to keep them together. We
agreed that one of them could sleep on the couch in the living
room.
Over the
next couple days we asked around about alternative housing opportunities.
A coworker, Gloria, looked into a potential house-sitting opportunity.
Oksana's boss, Barney, offered up his house for a little while
if we could figure out how to deal with Karl, his roommate. We
talked to Joe Sears about possibly rooming with his brother, Karl,
at Barney's while her family stayed at his condo. We had a lot
of options worth thinking about, but nothing settled upon, when
someone at the dorms called back. Someone cancelled and they had
another dorm available from the 2nd to the 7th! Sweet!
Now the plan
is to have them remain at the dorms for their entire stay. This
works out well for them and us because they'll get a furnished
apartment with a full kitchen and living room. The only hitch
is that for the first five days they'll have to stay in a "double"
dorm. Two rooms, four beds - they'll have to double up. On the
7th, they'll be able to move into a "single" dorm. Four
rooms, four beds. Should be more comfortable.
Being a
Geek
Even though many people are going to be able to make it to our
wedding, there are still quite a few that won't. How can you be
at the ceremony without actually being there? Well, on the Internet
of course!
What if,
say… you wanted to stream a video broadcast live over the
Internet? Who would know how to do that? A Digital Media Specialist,
of course! Working as a geek among geeks has its advantages.
Chapel by
the Lake is situated only about 200-300 feet from the last building
on the UAS campus. Guess what the UAS campus has? Wireless access
points in every building. If we can extend the range by just a
little bit, we'll have everything we need to do a live broadcast
of the wedding over the Internet. All you'll need to view the
ceremony in a postage-stamp-sized window is the free RealPlayer!
Joe Nell
has agreed to help me out with the physical networking issues.
Looks like we finally get to check out that Pringles can solution
I've been hearing about on the 'Net. Mona Yarnall also works at
UAS computer center with Joe. She's in charge of all the servers
and doesn't think it'll be much of a problem to set up her end
of the deal. All that remains for me to do is come up with a computer
that has video capture capability, the free RealEncoder software,
and a video camera.
There are
a lot of factors to consider and the time for planning all this
out is running short. I suppose that we might not be able to get
everything to work as planned, but at the very least I can guarantee
that we'll record the ceremony and can always encoder the video
at a later date.
If you can't
be at the Chapel on August 17th at 3pm (Alaska time), you might
want to be at your computer, instead! I'll make sure to put up
an obvious link on the web page that will easily start the Real
stream.
The Mother
of the Groom
My mom is currently having a good ol' time at the beach while
I'm stressing about the next update on my web page - how fair
is that?! I gave her a call the other day to ask her opinion on
some things and what did she do? She told me about even more things
we have to do to get ready for the wedding!
What's she
most concerned with? Something that I barely remembered that we're
supposed to do - have a rehearsal dinner. Tradition dictates that
the parents of the groom pay for our dinner. And Oksana's parents'
dinner. And the wedding party's dinner… I warned her that
it was going to be expensive! Now all we need to do is find a
restaurant in Juneau that has a separate dining room that can
seat about 20 people. Wow. Big dinner.
My mom also
gave Oksana some advice on what kind of flowers to get for decorations,
but you know what? I couldn't tell you much about that.
Housing at
the Schiable House
I had to cancel the university's Schiable House because of a lack
of interest. Really, only my mom and Don expressed interest in
staying there for $50/night. If they stayed the 4 nights that
they were planning to, that would recover $200 of the $1000 we're
liable for. Um… after consulting my wallet briefly (oh,
so briefly!), we decided that they could probably stay somewhere
else.
I felt really
bad about canceling the reservations, too. Tish told me that she'd
turned away four separate groups who wanted to reserve the Schiable
House during the same week. Ouch. I apologized profusely and even
offered to eat the cost, but Tish said that it would be okay.
And, luckily, I got a call back from Roxie a couple hours later
telling me not to worry - she'd fortunately kept a few names of
those that tried to reserve the house. They jumped right back
on the reservation bandwagon after we cancelled, so (I hope) everyone
is happy.
Hey mom,
you don't mind staying in a hotel, do you?
August
4th, 2002
The Marriage
License
I love the Internet. I hopped online last week and quickly found
the site that had everything you need to know about Alaska marriage
licenses. The process was fairly simple - print out the forms,
fill them out, and mail them in. Oksana and I did that and we
mailed them off that same day.
There's no
blood test for marriages in the state of Alaska, but we do need
to sign and pickup our marriage license in person. No problem.
They had a field on the form where you can slip in the date you
expect to show up at their office. I've already got my lunch break
reserved next Friday to do just that - if only I can find the
courthouse…
The Holy Man
On July 17th (You can see how well I'm keeping my updates under
control!) Oksana and I met with David Tubley after work. If you
remember, Dave is the Coast Guard chaplain that we had asked to
marry us during Lola's 4th of July party. Since the Chapel by
the Lake is right next to the university where Oksana and I both
work, it was the logical place to meet.
We sat in
the sanctuary and talked with Dave for about a half an hour. We
went over the ceremony, but not in great detail like we had with
Tracee, earlier. We talked about whether or not to light a unity
candle (or jump over a broom, or break a glass), how to handle
a translator, our vows, what kind of attire he would wear, the
music, etc.
I think that
we were hoping to get a little more accomplished during that meeting.
Oksana and I only have a vague idea of what the ceremony should
be like, and it would be helpful to have someone there (our parents?)
to answer some of the "important" questions. We were
able to figure a few things out, though.
·
No unity candle. The ceremony will be long enough if we decide
to translate certain parts.
· Oksana will say her vows in Russian.
· We'll take pictures afterwards, before we leave for the
reception.
· The photographer and videographer can go about there
own things.
· It's a big room, but we won't need to use the sound system.
We still need to decide on who will do the music, what the chaplain
should wear (military uniform? Robes? Super-Hero costume? He did
claim to have everything…), and the exact order of events.
Although
Dave didn't seem too interested in attending neither the rehearsal
dinner nor the reception (he's not a family friend, after all),
we still offered, even encouraged him to come. Afterwards, again,
Oksana and I both remarked on how much we liked him and we're
still so happy that he agreed to marry us!
We'll have
another meeting with him about a week before the ceremony and
again (of course) for the rehearsal the day before.
The Ring
It seems like we're finally making progress on Oksana's engagement
ring. I feel really awful that I proposed to her six months ago
and she STILL doesn't have a ring to show for it (plus, good looking
guys are probably always hitting on her because they don't see
a ring!) Still, I think she's going to have an awesome ring when
this is all over. She did a great job designing the band and setting…
Last Saturday
we went back to Dockside Jewelers to see the latest computer rendering
of the ring. After about a half hour of clarifying questions,
Oksana was put at easy enough to give the go ahead. We were told
that the CAD file could simply be e-mailed down to Washington
and that they could make a wax (more like a soft plastic) ring
the next day. Considering the wonders of FedEx, we expected to
have something to try on by now.
All these
delays with Dockside are frustrating, but I think the owner, Ginger,
is sincere when she gives us these time frames. Sure, they always
come out to be longer than expected, but I think that's because
she's an eternal optimist.
At any rate,
Oksana called again a day or so ago and asked about the wax carving
- no, it isn't in yet - but it should be soon! Once she tries
that on, it should be a simple matter to decide if it's what she
wants. If so, they'll cast the metal and FedEx the setting to
us in under three days! …which means we should get it in
a couple weeks. It's a race to see what comes in first - The engagement
ring or the wedding bands!
By the way,
I wanted to post some pictures of the corrected computer rendering,
but Ginger has yet to send them. Sigh.
The Chapelady
On Tuesday, a scant five days ago, Oksana and I met with Bonnie,
the Chapel's wedding coordinator. Although we spent a half hour
roaming the sanctuary, I don't think we really got much accomplished.
Oksana was
especially disheartened that we wouldn't be able to move some
of the stuff they have up front - namely a piano, drumset, choir
seating, and the baptismal-thingie. On the other hand, we can
bring in plants to hide things, I guess.
Bonnie was
pretty flexible on most things. I told her that we wanted to get
in there all over the place and set up multiple cameras and at
least one computer with a wireless antennae poking out one of
the windows. Sure, no problem! But you can't move the drums! And
don't have your photographer roaming all over the place - he'll
distract the guests!
There were
a few things she helped us to consider. Where and if we should
have a receiving line. Do we need a white aisle carpet? Where
will people stand? Will anyone be needing to use the elevator
(to avoid all of six steps)? Where are the bride and groom's dressing
rooms? Who's doing the music? (THE MUSIC! ARGH!) Stuff like that.
A lot of
this just won't be figured out until we have the rehearsal (4pm,
August 16th!). When that finally comes around, we'll have everyone
there - Bonnie, Lola, David, our parents, and Oksana and I. Duck!
The opinions are gonna fly!
Oh, and we
also have to pay for the church's involvement which amounts to
about $475 right now - more if we need someone to do the music.
August
6th, 2002
Updates are getting hopelessly
out of order as I fall behind in posting to this site. Please
bear in mind that some of these events are not presented in chronological
order. You may not know in what order things are happening, but
at least you know what what's going on…!
Immigration
and Naturalization Service
I stopped by the INS office last week to pick up all the necessary
forms that we'll have to fill out for our marriage. Ouch! Talk
about unexpected costs! Once we sign the marriage license, we
then begin our journey through the INS's forest of red tape.
Check this
out: To complete Oksana's paperwork, we'll need to mail the Anchorage
office an I485 form ($255), an I-130 form ($130), and an I-131
form ($110). Also, although not required, we'll also want to submit
an Employment Authorization form #765 ($120) and EVEN, two years
down the road, form #751 (that simply removes the conditions on
#765!)
Now our simple,
$35 marriage license is going to cost us upwards of $650. As I
said: "Ouch."
Another thing
that I found out while at the INS office: Once we're married,
Oksana is not supposed to leave the country until we have filled
out and received approval for the I-131 form -- and that takes
at least two months! The honeymoon to Fiji is now out of the question,
but it looks like Puerto Rico still might work because it's an
American territory…
Here's Some
Bad News...
Oksana and I were hit with some bad news simultaneously from two
different fronts. It seems that my Best Man and her Maid of Honor
were going to have to cancel their participation in our wedding
for different reasons.
Rob called
me up to tell me that he recently had to take his car in for a
smog check. For those that don't know, California requires that
your car pass these clean air checkups or you're not allowed to
drive it. Guess what? His didn't make it. He ended up spending
hundreds of dollars to replace a faulty sensor (the emissions
were actually good enough to pass the test, can you believe that?)
and he no longer has enough in the bank to pay for a plane ticket
to Alaska.
We talked
about it and I decided to pay for his ticket myself. It's that
important to me that he be here for the ceremony. We spent the
next two, frustrating days trying to nail down his vacation time
and book tickets online. It was difficult to get a good price
because we were right on the cusp of the 14-day, cheap-ticket
deadline. With Oksana's help at the keyboard, we finally did get
a decent price, but Rob will arrive a day later than I had hoped
(because he'll have to overnight at SeaTac.)
Oksana's
Maid of Honor, Liza, has different reasons for not being able
to make it. It seems that everyone else at her workplace is going
to be either on sick leave or on vacation. When we found out that
she wouldn't be able to take Friday the 16th off from work, we
tried to convince her to at least book a red-eye flight on Friday
night. She said it just wasn't worth it to fly all the way across
the country and then back again the next day.
We disagree,
of course.
It's very
important to us that our best friends in the whole world share
the happiest day of our lives with us. We've spent some time trying
to convince Liza of this and she has at least said that she'll
think about it. Hopefully, she'll come to her senses - otherwise
Oksana will be down to just two bridesmaids (to my four groomsmen.)
...But There's
Good News, Too!
As I was walking out of the door on Sunday night, I got a phone
call from our friend Mike Maas. He was calling with the GREAT
news that he'd be able to help us out with the music at our wedding.
I may have
mentioned before that we were trying to get Mike to at least play
for us at the ceremony if not DJ the reception, too, but he had
prior commitments and had told us that he couldn't make it. Well,
come to find out, his plans have changed and he's now going to
be back in town on the magic date of August the Seventeenth. And
this comes right as Oksana and I are racking our brains about
trying to find someone (whom we don't know) to do our music, too!
At any rate,
nothing is set in stone yet. Mike is going to stop by our place
tonight to discuss the possibilities. Anything he can help us
with will be great!
Let me take
this opportunity to give him a plug: Check out his site at www.michaelmaasmusic.com!
Here Comes
the Family
Oksana's parents arrived on Friday. An already crazy day of preparation
got even crazier as soon as they stepped off the plane.
Oksana, thinking
ahead, managed to switch schedules with a coworker so that she
could have Saturday off. Unfortunately, that meant that she now
had to work Thursday and Friday - which didn't give us much time
before their arrival to do all the little things.
But it was
okay, because our supervisors were very understanding and gave
us extra time on our Friday lunch break to run some errands. In
two-and-a-half hours we managed to stop by the Gumdrop House to
pay for our wedding cake ($160), paid our rent ($825), went to
Costco to buy wedding supplies and food for Oksana's family ($267),
and then sped to student housing to pay for the room ($950) and
drop off the groceries.
Clocking
in at over $2002, that was easily my most expensive lunch break
ever! (And we only ate Costco hotdogs, too!) On the plus side,
we will be reimbursed for the housing.
After work
(I got off 2 hours before Oksana), I had to run home and work
with Rob to get his ticket purchased. That didn't leave me enough
time to vacuum my Jeep, take some household items over to the
dorms, and to make her family's beds as I'd hoped. Oksana got
off work at 7pm and really only had time to change clothes and
try to calm down a little bit before we left for the airport.
We showed
up about ten minutes after eight and waited for the right plane
to let loose its cargo. It didn't take long before Oksana's family
was hugging her and shaking my hand.
I'll admit
that I was nervous about our initial meeting. Who wouldn't be?
Here I am, meeting my fiancée's family for the first time
(only two weeks before our wedding) and I can't even communicate
effectively with them!
I'm happy
to report that my worries were unfounded. I liked them, and I
think they liked me, too. While we waited for their luggage, I
stood around and listened as Oksana caught up with them. I was
even able to understand what they were talking about sometimes…
I think.
As we headed
out to the car(s), someone realized that the family camcorder
was missing. Oksana ran back in to see if a flight attendant could
get it off the plane and while she was gone, I was able to ascertain
the real reason for their worry: No one was absolutely sure that
they didn't leave it at the Anchorage airport. At any rate, Oksana
returned empty handed and we're still trying to recover the camera.
We split
up on the way home because we couldn't fit everyone and their
luggage into the same car.
Once Oksana's
niece, nephew, and I were away from their (overly) critical parents,
they opened up a little bit and started trying out their English.
We decided to stop at McDonald's on the way home for dinner and
had quite a fun time trying to figure out which sauce Lena wanted
with her McNuggets! Good thing it was slow and that the person
behind the counter was a friend with whom I play Ultimate!
Eventually
we got to the dorms and spent the rest of the evening settling
in and socializing. Oksana's father presented me with an early
wedding gift - a gold Russian watch! It was very generous and
I hope to find a suitable watchband for it before the wedding.
Also, in stereotypical fashion, I was asked to drink shots with
Oksana's father and brother during dinner. After two blasts of
vodka (when I toasted to "family" - Oksana's father
joked: "Mafia?!") my eyelids were getting quite droopy…
But then it was almost midnight and, as I said before, it had
been a crazy day.
Oksana and
I got home late, but all-in-all it was a good day. I met her family
and it wasn't a terrifying experience (at least not for me - Oksana's
was as nervously hyper as I've EVER seen her!) Now if we can only
keep them happy while we have to work next week…
Oksana the
Telemarketer
As the wedding day draws near, Oksana is spending more and more
time on the phone and running all over town when she's not working.
On Thursday, BEFORE NOON, she had:
Gone to Hallmark
to buy a cake knife and server set,
Called the Limo service and ironed out the times and cost (~$180),
Scheduled an appointment with Linda for the weekend to try on
the dress,
Contacted Liza about buying and mailing silk rose petals, a guest
book, and film,
Contacted my mom in order to have her bring some cream-colored
candles for decorations, and
Scheduled a time to pay for the cake.
By virtue of the fact that I'm the one writing this web page,
I'm aware that it may come across as if I'm the one doing all
the planning. That's certainly not the case! Oksana is working
very hard by my side to help make this the best wedding ever!
(Okay, well, OUR best wedding ever, anyway.)
She's my
little bee.
The Reception
On Wednesday, July 31st, Oksana and I made yet another trip up
Mt. Roberts to speak with Tracy about our reservation for the
reception. This time, we took Lola along with us (as our wedding
coordinator) to help us think of anything we might have missed.
We all talked
quite a bit about the ceremony and reception plans as we went
up the tram car. Lola hadn't been with us when we met with Bonnie,
so we filled her in on many of the ceremony's elements. Once we
arrived at the top, we located Tracy and sat down to talk about
the reception.
The first
half hour or so was fairly pleasant. Lola went over all the arrangements
on when to bring up the decorations, where the tables would be
located, and she even helped us pick out the wine (of which we're
not big drinkers.) The second half hour went downhill - it was
time to talk money.
Now, you
have to understand that Oksana and I'd already met with Tracy
once - and Oksana met with him twice. In those two meeting, when
we talked about prices, we both left with the idea that we'd be
paying about $18 per person (plus whatever we wanted to spend
on alcohol). Not bad. 100 people at $18 each = $1800. Expensive,
but doable.
Well, just
before drawing up the contract he mentions sales tax. And the
18% gratuity. And the linen service. And the cost to use their
audio system. Suddenly we're faced with a contract that's very
close to $2500. What the hell just happened?
As Tracy
disappeared into his office to print out the contract, Oksana
started to fume. Lola got nervous and excused herself while we
talked about the money and when Tracy came back we let him know
that we were not happy. Granted, we should have thought about
the sales tax and gratuity, but I was offended that he didn't
mention the total cost at one of the preliminary meetings. The
whole thing smacks of a bait-and-switch.
While Lola
was still out of the room, we asked for a couple changes to the
contract. 1) We reduced the amount of wine from 20 bottles to
14 -- and if our guests would like more, we got it in writing
that they can buy it at the discounted price ($15 / bottle instead
of $30.) 2) We also changed a statement in the contract that stipulated
that we would pay for at least the 91 people we were expecting
- even if fewer actually showed up. With the new wording, we now
have up to 3 days before the reception to provide them with a
"contractible" number of guests.
It's still
more expensive than we thought it would be, but then… so
is every other aspect of our wedding!
After signing
the contact and paying a 25% deposit ($591), we headed back down
the mountain. We parted ways with Lola at the bottom and won't
see her again until just a few days before the wedding - she'll
be on vacation.
I'd like
to take a moment to offer a sincere "Thank You" to Lola
for what she did for us up on Mt. Roberts - Hold on, though. It
might not be for what you think. You see, as we're being broadsided
by more and more things to do, it's so nice to hear Lola say things
like "Oh, don't worry about that. That's my job!" I'll
tell you what: Even if she's lying through her teeth, it is SO
nice to hear those that right now…
The Money
Oksana and I are afraid to speculate on what the final cost of
this wedding might be. As you might have noticed, we're keeping
a running total at the top of this web page. It's a little low
right now for a variety of reasons, the most important of which
is that we haven't had to pay "the big bills" yet. Also,
some of the larger chunks that we have had to pay (her dress,
her family's airlines tickets* and housing) have been reimbursed.
For those that are interested in this sort of thing, we're keeping
an Excel spreadsheet updated and we'll post it after all the wedding
and honeymoon expenses have been accounted for. (We're putting
this all on our Alaska Airlines visa. Miles, miles, miles!)
* My credit
card bill came in the other day with 5 airlines tickets purchased
on the same day in July. Neither Oksana nor I could figure out
where they'd come from and I was gearing myself up for a huge
fight with Bank of America over my stolen credit card number.
I got as far as work that morning before Oksana remembered that
those were her family's tickets (duh!) and that it sure would
be nice if I wouldn't deny those charges. Gee, do you think our
sleep deprivation is catching up to us, yet?
August
9th, 2002
When you're
pressed for time, the 2nd draft is the 1st thing to go...
Last Week
Live on the
Internet
Joe and I hooked up a couple directional antennas and walked over
to the Chapel with a laptop computer. With a simple, unplanned
setup we were able to get a sporadic, but decent signal from the
Hendrickson Building's main access point. With a new access point
set up outside the Whitehead Building, we were able to get a practically
flawless 11Mbit/sec connection! Looks like the infrastructure
is there for us to be able to stream our ceremony on the Internet
- we'll do a test this weekend at my bachelor party.
If you're
planning to view the ceremony over the Internet, I suggest that
you tune in some time this weekend (8/10 to 8/11) and make sure
that you can view our test stream.
The Dress
That silly Oksana. She went and lost some weight before the wedding!
Now the alterations to her dress aren't quite right - it's still
a little loose in the chest. Linda re-measured her and promised
to get the dress done soon!
The (Engagement)
Ring
Almost there. Almost there. Oksana got this weird, 2-part ring
made of wax on Saturday and wore it for the rest of the day. Ultimately,
she still wasn't quite satisfied with the location that the bands
crossed over, but at this point it's almost too late to make changes
and still get the ring by the wedding. We bit the bullet and I
called up Ginger at Dockside Jewelers. She placed the order and
we should have the real deal next week!
The Wedding
Bands
I keep e-mailing Absolute Titanium and they assure me that they'll
get our wedding bands to us on time. Currently they're scheduled
to ship out via FedEx (2 to 3 day delivery) on Monday. That's
cutting it close - FedEx almost always adds a day or two to Alaska.
I'm starting to worry… but they think it's okay. (Oksana
wants me to threaten to stop payment if they don't get here in
time!)
The Groomsmen
I found out that my brother, Kegan, happened to be visiting my
grandparents in Florida. I finally got my webcam hooked up, so
we dialed them into a videoconference using NetMeeting. It was
great - they got to meet Oksana and we got to meet Bonnie and
Lily (my first, one and only niece!) It was then that I learned
that Kegan definitely had a standby ticket and that he would definitely
be at the wedding.
Shortly thereafter,
Kegan, Noah, and Rob all got their measurements phoned in to The
Wedding Shoppe. I gotta give my props to that little out-of-the-home-business!
Unlike many of the laid-back (downright SLACKER) Juneau businesses,
The Wedding Shoppe has called me each time there's an update of
information. Thanks for keeping us in the loop!
Oksana's
Family
I've had a great time hanging out with Oksana's parents this last
week! Despite the language barrier, I think we get along quite
well.
There's Lena
- she's Oksana's 12-year-old niece and quite rambunctious. Janna
called before the family had even arrived with an offer from a
family who would like to take her for a week or so. They have
a daughter of their own and thought it would be a good idea for
Lena to hang out for a bit. Surprisingly, she was totally into
it - to the point of going over there just one day later! No warming
to the U.S. was needed for her!
There's Andrey
Jr. - He's 17 and Oksana's very tall nephew. On Saturday, I had
an ultimate tournament and Oksana dropped him off to watch the
tail end of it. I had a few friends from work introduce themselves,
but I don't think Andrey was quite confident enough in his English
skills yet to be comfortable in that situation. He did warm up
to Peter's young son, though, and played a little bit of one-on-one
soccer with him.
